“My heart aches so intensely, I just have to breathe through it…Did you experience this in your awakening too, Eva?” I got this question in a message today, as many times before – here’s my answer:
So. This is a part of the awakening journey we need to speak more of…
Awakening isn’t just bliss. It can be wild, deep-going, vulnerable and very, very alive.
I DO know about the joy – and the pain of awakening. In my bones. And, I don’t know how to fully explain it. But I’ll try:
Your awakening can be ignited by a crisis. A loss, breakdown, sorrow – that breaks the heart open, and allows the light of consciousness to stream into your heart.
The pain can be so severe that your consciousness instantly splits from the feelings and thoughts. From one moment to another you can realize being pure soul – experiencing life as a human being.
Now – the awakening can also go the other way around.
You can experience a subtle, step by step awakening, in glimpses. Now, what happens is, that you get aware of the fears and emotional pains you’ve been avoiding before.
Maybe it is:
- Childhood pain, you’ve been escaping or soothing with sugar or addictions. Inner girls and boys, with bleeding knees and hungry eyes, start knocking at your door.
- Transformation-pain, realizing that you need to align with what’s more true to you. And that’s one of the most vulnerable things. To step into your light (and maybe out of your “tribe”) risking being rejected or alone.
- Past-lives-pain becoming conscious and released.
- Dark-night-of-the-soul-pain – which is a chapter of its own. When the soul is going through a transformation and can feel left alone and abandoned – even if it’s not. (More about that in my coming book).
So. It’s part of the awakening to experience pain. Actually, it’s a sign that you’re on track – even if it doesn’t feel like it at all.
Healing the pain is possible. Through acknowledging it, holding it gently in your loving consciousness, breathing through it – and resting in trust.
But. There are tears you have to cry. For all the times you’ve abandoned your true self and maybe your inner children. These tears are actually healing the heart.
And you know, being with whatever is in this moment – is the inner path: Transforming pain and fear into love and beauty – like the lotus flower unfolding from the mud.
You’ll be able to feel at peace and feel the pain at the same time. As if you’re rocking the pain like a baby in your arms.
You’ll be more whole and fully alive. You’ll live with an open heart and let down your masks and shields.
So if you go through heartbreak or crisis – let it be an opening for light and love to flood your heart. Through the cracks, you start reconnecting to your eternal, unbreakable soul.
And if you feel the ache of unfelt pain, scars and abandoned inner children: welcome it. Give it the time it needs. Even if the pain needs years (or even decades) to pass fully through you. Let it.
Being with the pain will soften your heart – and you’ll become the most compassionate and humble soul. Able to heal others with your loving presence.
Now, as I’m writing – I feel like giving you this from my heart to yours:
A heart prayer
Thank you for holding me gently
When I can’t even hold myself
Thank you for healing my aching heart
I feel you in my breath
Thank you that everything is given
To remind me
Of the eternal being
That I am
Help me to rest in you
Now and forever
– Amen, and so it is
What does it mean to you to read this? Share with me in a comment below – in English or Scandinavian (scroll down on your screen to see the comment box). I’ll love to hear from you.
Author of “Og jeg vågnede” in Danish – sharing my raw awakening journey. Get the book here
P.s. Are you Scandinavian? Click here to get my Danish Ebook: 10 tegn på at du er i opvågning – it’s a gift.